Be a Winner!
Why Stay a Loser?
One
of the greatest obstacles on the spiritual path and really in all walks
of life, is being a loser! Am I being unfair to the poor, unfortunate
losers now? No, because being a loser is not something that a person is
born with, like a disability, or simply can't help being. Sadly, being a
loser is actually something that people choose for various reasons!
There are pay-offs to being a loser - though frankly, they aren't worth
it!
But here is hope: even if you at some time in your life have chosen to be a loser - whether consciously or unconsciously - you can now consciously choose to be a winner! This article is meant as a tool for self-improvement and transformation. It is meant to help you understand exactly what makes a person a loser or a winner, so you can make an informed choice (hopefully this will be the choice of being a winner!) and then develop those qualities that are so vital for spiritual growth and success in life!
But here is hope: even if you at some time in your life have chosen to be a loser - whether consciously or unconsciously - you can now consciously choose to be a winner! This article is meant as a tool for self-improvement and transformation. It is meant to help you understand exactly what makes a person a loser or a winner, so you can make an informed choice (hopefully this will be the choice of being a winner!) and then develop those qualities that are so vital for spiritual growth and success in life!
When Nothing Works
Many times people turn to a healer, shaman or spiritual counsellor to seek aid for their problems. And often the healing
works fine and the client is happy. But there are people who seem to be
stuck with their problems forever. They go to countless healers but
nobody can help them -- or so they claim. Why is that? Apart from rare
cases of serious black magic, the reason is usually in their patterns
which they are holding on to. Even the greatest shaman, healer or the
best counsellor cannot help a person who is unwilling to step out of the
victim mentality, who is in denial, who is unwilling to take
responsibility for his/her life, or who has resistance to working on
themselves. You can read more about these self-sabotaging patterns in my
article Overcoming Obstacles to Healing.
Fact is, nobody can help a person who constantly creates negativity and
takes no responsibility for their own act. All of the above are part of
the loser mentality.
The Loser Identity and Its Price
Being
a loser is the worst spiritual disease you can have. It messes up your
life on many levels. For one, it makes spiritual progress totally
impossible. No matter what spiritual tradition one follows, whether it
be shamanism, Yoga, the Goddess path, magick
or any other path, backbone, discipline and mastery of self is required
-- But losers are lacking in these qualities and don't make any effort
to cultivate them. They want it the easy way, without having to do any
work.
The loser mentality also sabotages healing, both emotional and physical. This is because losers are generally not facing their issues, blame others instead of taking responsibility and practice denial. In these case there can be no cure until you yourself decide to make an end to it by becoming a winner. And that means choosing to be a winner and working on becoming a winner by cultivating the qualities and attitudes that makes one a winner. it is not enough to say "Oh I really want to be healed", or "I choose to be a winner!" you have to follow those words with action! Only you can turn yourself from a loser to a winner, nobody else can do it for you. No talisman will do it either. You must do the work or be stuck with the pathetic loser identity indefinitely. The loser identity is pricey: it costs you your happiness and your power. Why not start today to learn to be a winner?
The loser mentality also sabotages healing, both emotional and physical. This is because losers are generally not facing their issues, blame others instead of taking responsibility and practice denial. In these case there can be no cure until you yourself decide to make an end to it by becoming a winner. And that means choosing to be a winner and working on becoming a winner by cultivating the qualities and attitudes that makes one a winner. it is not enough to say "Oh I really want to be healed", or "I choose to be a winner!" you have to follow those words with action! Only you can turn yourself from a loser to a winner, nobody else can do it for you. No talisman will do it either. You must do the work or be stuck with the pathetic loser identity indefinitely. The loser identity is pricey: it costs you your happiness and your power. Why not start today to learn to be a winner?
What Makes You a Winner?
Before
you can become a winner you must first understand what it is that makes
a person into a winner or a loser. There are many misconceptions about
what a winner or loser is. Here are some of them:
Misconception: Winners beat the competition
Competitiveness has nothing to do with being a winner at all. Competitiveness is born out of the delusion that there isn't enough for everybody and therefore we have to fight down the competition and grab the good things for ourselves. It is a world view based on domination, where only the fittest survive, rather than a world view of dominion, which is based on true inner strength and the knowledge that there is enough for everybody in this world and that we can create what we need and share the beauty of life. In other words, extreme competitiveness leads to suffering and separation, not to self-improvement, nor to Oneness. This competitiveness and ego-centred world view of domination gets instilled and reinforced by society in a thousand ways, starting with the conditioning of our parents, continuing in kindergarten and school, until the finishing touches are added through the influence of our peers, the media and our idols.
Competitiveness can also be born from low self-esteem. But if you have to constantly prove to yourself that you are somebody by winning at everything, then you are actually quite weak within yourself. It would be better to develop self-worth instead of using winning as a band-aid for your damaged ego. Talking about ego, sometimes "winning" in games and competitions can be an ego thing, a way of being special, better than others!
Childish Games...
When I was a child my brother and I used to play various board and dice games. I never really cared whether I won or lost, I just played for the fun of it and wasn't affected by winning or losing. Not so my brother, who was dead serious and couldn't take it at all if he lost even once. Most of the time I let him win. But occasionally, when his ego became too inflated I felt it was time to curb it a bit. Then I waited until I was so far behind that it seemed impossible I could yet win. At this point I began to use my mind power to influence the dice -- and always won. My brother was livid! At other times when I played with friends and there was somebody who lost every game, and became dejected, I would influence their dice to make them win so they didn't feel like losers!
Many adults still have this childish idea of what a winner is. They are acting quite the loser in many areas of their life, but feel they are winners just because they excel in activities such as bowling or playing soccer! There is nothing wrong with being good at sports, or winning games. But to truly be a winner you need to achieve mastery over yourself instead of beating the competition. You need to win at a bigger game, the game of life! And the ultimate prize of that "game", for those who are devoted enough to want to go all the way, is self-realisation!
Misconception: winners are lucky
Attributing the success of others purely to luck is a way of discrediting their hard work and efforts. It is a way of saying "the only reason why you have made it is because you were lucky while I have failed just because I am unlucky." Such an attitude is actually quite arrogant and hostile. It leads to passivity and apathy which result from a denial of one's creative abilities, refusal to take responsibility for one's own life, as well as an aversion to self-improvement! This is a typical loser's attitude. The theory of luck is indeed very convenient for people who wish to avoid taking responsibility for their lack of success and constructive efforts.
Misconception: winners are blessed
A word of warning up front: losers generally blame luck, karma and God for being less favoured and successful! They are jealous of those who have achieved something in life and discredit their good work by saying they are "more blessed." This way losers avoid taking responsibility for their failure, and justify their idleness and apathy. Here is a good example: Just the other day a man said to me that I was lucky because I was "given all these gifts by God" -- while he was not so lucky. The man then used this as an excuse for not having made something of his life and actually ended saying I had it easy! All of this is utter nonsense.
First of all the Goddess has blessed all her children with great gifts. However, for the seeds of these gifts to sprout and blossom, for power to become manifest and fully develop, we all have to work on ourselves and do spiritual practices. When you align yourself with the Divine the gifts will come naturally. When you are in separation from God/Goddess you will feel separated from your gifts as well. It is up to you alone to work on becoming closer to the Divine. It is only logical that somebody who works diligently will develop their gifts much further than somebody who does nothing and complains that they are not so lucky and not so blessed.
Secondly, as to "easy": whilst I am profoundly grateful to Shiva and the Goddess for bringing the right teachers at the right time and letting me hear the scriptures explained, etc, it was still I who had to do the work and go through the suffering. Or do you seriously think that one morning a package arrived with a label "free spiritual gifts inside" I opened it and "tata", the spiritual gifts and healing powers were bestowed on me just like that? My so-called "easy" life meant many years of purification, Yoga, meditation, mantra japa, study, discipline and suffering until I finally and unexpectedly broke through into the cosmic consciousness -- when I least expected it. And after that it still didn't end, I still have challenges, I still do my spiritual practices.
Don't be deluded! Spiritual gifts and psychic powers or the attaining of self-realisation are never random! They have to be worked for and are hard earned. Even a person who seems to have an outstanding talent and extremely fast realisation of those gifts has exerted, sometimes through many past lives. So if you don't have spiritual gifts as yet, get going and start to develop yourself spiritually instead of envying other people. Stop moaning and start meditating is my advice!
Misconception: Winners beat the competition
Competitiveness has nothing to do with being a winner at all. Competitiveness is born out of the delusion that there isn't enough for everybody and therefore we have to fight down the competition and grab the good things for ourselves. It is a world view based on domination, where only the fittest survive, rather than a world view of dominion, which is based on true inner strength and the knowledge that there is enough for everybody in this world and that we can create what we need and share the beauty of life. In other words, extreme competitiveness leads to suffering and separation, not to self-improvement, nor to Oneness. This competitiveness and ego-centred world view of domination gets instilled and reinforced by society in a thousand ways, starting with the conditioning of our parents, continuing in kindergarten and school, until the finishing touches are added through the influence of our peers, the media and our idols.
Competitiveness can also be born from low self-esteem. But if you have to constantly prove to yourself that you are somebody by winning at everything, then you are actually quite weak within yourself. It would be better to develop self-worth instead of using winning as a band-aid for your damaged ego. Talking about ego, sometimes "winning" in games and competitions can be an ego thing, a way of being special, better than others!
Childish Games...
When I was a child my brother and I used to play various board and dice games. I never really cared whether I won or lost, I just played for the fun of it and wasn't affected by winning or losing. Not so my brother, who was dead serious and couldn't take it at all if he lost even once. Most of the time I let him win. But occasionally, when his ego became too inflated I felt it was time to curb it a bit. Then I waited until I was so far behind that it seemed impossible I could yet win. At this point I began to use my mind power to influence the dice -- and always won. My brother was livid! At other times when I played with friends and there was somebody who lost every game, and became dejected, I would influence their dice to make them win so they didn't feel like losers!
Many adults still have this childish idea of what a winner is. They are acting quite the loser in many areas of their life, but feel they are winners just because they excel in activities such as bowling or playing soccer! There is nothing wrong with being good at sports, or winning games. But to truly be a winner you need to achieve mastery over yourself instead of beating the competition. You need to win at a bigger game, the game of life! And the ultimate prize of that "game", for those who are devoted enough to want to go all the way, is self-realisation!
Misconception: winners are lucky
Attributing the success of others purely to luck is a way of discrediting their hard work and efforts. It is a way of saying "the only reason why you have made it is because you were lucky while I have failed just because I am unlucky." Such an attitude is actually quite arrogant and hostile. It leads to passivity and apathy which result from a denial of one's creative abilities, refusal to take responsibility for one's own life, as well as an aversion to self-improvement! This is a typical loser's attitude. The theory of luck is indeed very convenient for people who wish to avoid taking responsibility for their lack of success and constructive efforts.
Misconception: winners are blessed
A word of warning up front: losers generally blame luck, karma and God for being less favoured and successful! They are jealous of those who have achieved something in life and discredit their good work by saying they are "more blessed." This way losers avoid taking responsibility for their failure, and justify their idleness and apathy. Here is a good example: Just the other day a man said to me that I was lucky because I was "given all these gifts by God" -- while he was not so lucky. The man then used this as an excuse for not having made something of his life and actually ended saying I had it easy! All of this is utter nonsense.
First of all the Goddess has blessed all her children with great gifts. However, for the seeds of these gifts to sprout and blossom, for power to become manifest and fully develop, we all have to work on ourselves and do spiritual practices. When you align yourself with the Divine the gifts will come naturally. When you are in separation from God/Goddess you will feel separated from your gifts as well. It is up to you alone to work on becoming closer to the Divine. It is only logical that somebody who works diligently will develop their gifts much further than somebody who does nothing and complains that they are not so lucky and not so blessed.
Secondly, as to "easy": whilst I am profoundly grateful to Shiva and the Goddess for bringing the right teachers at the right time and letting me hear the scriptures explained, etc, it was still I who had to do the work and go through the suffering. Or do you seriously think that one morning a package arrived with a label "free spiritual gifts inside" I opened it and "tata", the spiritual gifts and healing powers were bestowed on me just like that? My so-called "easy" life meant many years of purification, Yoga, meditation, mantra japa, study, discipline and suffering until I finally and unexpectedly broke through into the cosmic consciousness -- when I least expected it. And after that it still didn't end, I still have challenges, I still do my spiritual practices.
Don't be deluded! Spiritual gifts and psychic powers or the attaining of self-realisation are never random! They have to be worked for and are hard earned. Even a person who seems to have an outstanding talent and extremely fast realisation of those gifts has exerted, sometimes through many past lives. So if you don't have spiritual gifts as yet, get going and start to develop yourself spiritually instead of envying other people. Stop moaning and start meditating is my advice!
On Karma and Freedom of Choice
As
I said, being a winner does not depend on luck, nor on having received
special blessings -- nor does it depend on karma. For if it were your
karma to be a loser and never succeed at anything, then you would have
no freedom of choice at all, and be a victim of fate. And that can't be
true as freedom of choice is one of the fundamental principles of the
Earth Plane. Karma is widely misunderstood. The word "karma" simply
means action. Everything we do has a reaction, as everything is
interrelated. If you throw a stone in a pond it makes ripples and you
may get a few splashes of water in your face. That is natural and not
the effect of the pond wanting to punish you. Karma is not a punishment
but the result of your actions coming home to you. Karma is a law of
nature and nature doesn't discriminate. Though certain experiences in
our lives may be fated or predestined, karma can be changed, by constant
steady effort. Believing that everything in life is fixed is fatalism,
which leads to apathy and a loser mentality.
The earth plane is a very special place, because only here we can work out our karma and take action which determines where we go when our physical body finally comes to an end. The inhabitants of the other two realms, the heavenly realm and the demonic realm have already made their choices to be close to the Divine or to turn their back on the Creator. We here on the earth plane are on the testing ground, the place of choice. When I had self-realisation I was told over and over again that we have complete freedom of choice in all we do. Therefore the idea that karma makes a person into a winner or loser, without them having any choice cannot be true. Again this stems from the denial that we all are creators of our own reality, and from a blatant refusal to accept responsibility for our life. It is also a good excuse for avoiding to work on oneself!
To sum it up, it isn't competitiveness, nor luck, nor a special blessing from the gods, nor karma that makes a person into a winner. It is simply a matter of choice, of taking responsibility for one's life, of having the right attitude and acting in harmony with universal law. Therefore becoming a winner is possible for anybody who really wishes to be a winner. All you need is the know-how -- which I have presented below. It is up to you to put it into practice!
The earth plane is a very special place, because only here we can work out our karma and take action which determines where we go when our physical body finally comes to an end. The inhabitants of the other two realms, the heavenly realm and the demonic realm have already made their choices to be close to the Divine or to turn their back on the Creator. We here on the earth plane are on the testing ground, the place of choice. When I had self-realisation I was told over and over again that we have complete freedom of choice in all we do. Therefore the idea that karma makes a person into a winner or loser, without them having any choice cannot be true. Again this stems from the denial that we all are creators of our own reality, and from a blatant refusal to accept responsibility for our life. It is also a good excuse for avoiding to work on oneself!
To sum it up, it isn't competitiveness, nor luck, nor a special blessing from the gods, nor karma that makes a person into a winner. It is simply a matter of choice, of taking responsibility for one's life, of having the right attitude and acting in harmony with universal law. Therefore becoming a winner is possible for anybody who really wishes to be a winner. All you need is the know-how -- which I have presented below. It is up to you to put it into practice!
The Marks of the Winner
Even
winners do not always succeed at everything they do. But they tend to
be efficient and successful in achieving their aims. And when winners do
fail, they pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again.
Because of this they have a much better success rate than others.
Winners eventually reach their goals, whether they be spiritual or
material. Winners take responsibility for their life and actions instead
of blaming others. Winners are willing to put in effort and do whatever
it takes to reach their goals. They act and work on their goals instead
of being passive whilst whining and complaining. Winners have tenacity.
They don't expect things to work immediately but are prepared to go on
until they succeed. As opposed to the loser, a winner doesn't need a
guarantee before s/he takes action. Winners have faith, and courage, two
important qualities that losers lack.
So you see, it isn't luck that makes winners successful but backbone and a good attitude. You may call it positive thinking but it is more than that. It is positive thinking backed up by positive action! It is a well-known rule of magick that for anything tangible to manifest on the physical / material plane, such as a new car, for instance, or a better job, we need to take physical action in addition to casting the spell or thinking positively. Say, you wanted a new job. You can do a spell to get one or think positively about it, which is all very good. But then you will actually have to apply for jobs, go for interviews, instead of just sitting at home dreaming about it. Winners are people who have a positive attitude, but they also take positive actions to achieve their goals!
Winners understand that they need to work on themselves and grow spiritually in order to transform their reality. Winners are eager to learn new methods to improve themselves, and willing to do whatever it takes. Winners attend workshops in order to grow, they read books to educate themselves, and they are happy to invest the necessary time, effort and money to reach their goals. Losers will groan about the hard work involved, think a workshop is a fun social thing, and want everything for free or at least half price!
Winners are generous because they understand that what they give out will return to them multiplied. Winners know gratitude, while losers tend to be ungrateful no matter how much you do for them and how much you give them. Winners have integrity, they pay for the services and goods received, happily, while losers suffer from poverty consciousness and erroneously think the tighter they hold on to every penny the richer they will get. Money is an energy that needs to move constantly. By handing it out, it comes back to you. The bottom line is that money is an illusion!
What is real is your spirit-soul which is one with the Divine though due to Maya aka illusion you have forgotten your divinity. God / Goddess is real. Material objects are unreal. Throughout the ages Yogis and Yoginis, shamans, and countless wise men and women have known this. But losers take the material for all there is. Losers are gross materialists, while winners are spiritual people. Winners go with the flow, because they don't make material reality too real. They playfully overcome all obstacles because they have true spirituality and are in touch with the Divine.
When we are in touch with the Oneness, and beyond the illusion of material reality, when we know our own divinity, and know ourselves as the creators our own reality, then all things become possible. Therefore to be a winner, we have to go beyond the illusion. We have to get rid of those beliefs and patterns that keep us in separation and away from the Oneness. Like the light of a lamp that is hidden under many layers of veiling cloth, which only gets revealed as layer by layer is being removed, so your true self with all its creative powers will gradually get revealed as you are removing the layers of ignorance and false beliefs that keep you separated from the Oneness and in bondage to ignorance and suffering. A winner is somebody who consciously or unconsciously has tuned into the Oneness, who has understood at least some of the principles of creating his/her reality and regularly applies those concepts to his/her life.
So you see, it isn't luck that makes winners successful but backbone and a good attitude. You may call it positive thinking but it is more than that. It is positive thinking backed up by positive action! It is a well-known rule of magick that for anything tangible to manifest on the physical / material plane, such as a new car, for instance, or a better job, we need to take physical action in addition to casting the spell or thinking positively. Say, you wanted a new job. You can do a spell to get one or think positively about it, which is all very good. But then you will actually have to apply for jobs, go for interviews, instead of just sitting at home dreaming about it. Winners are people who have a positive attitude, but they also take positive actions to achieve their goals!
Winners understand that they need to work on themselves and grow spiritually in order to transform their reality. Winners are eager to learn new methods to improve themselves, and willing to do whatever it takes. Winners attend workshops in order to grow, they read books to educate themselves, and they are happy to invest the necessary time, effort and money to reach their goals. Losers will groan about the hard work involved, think a workshop is a fun social thing, and want everything for free or at least half price!
Winners are generous because they understand that what they give out will return to them multiplied. Winners know gratitude, while losers tend to be ungrateful no matter how much you do for them and how much you give them. Winners have integrity, they pay for the services and goods received, happily, while losers suffer from poverty consciousness and erroneously think the tighter they hold on to every penny the richer they will get. Money is an energy that needs to move constantly. By handing it out, it comes back to you. The bottom line is that money is an illusion!
What is real is your spirit-soul which is one with the Divine though due to Maya aka illusion you have forgotten your divinity. God / Goddess is real. Material objects are unreal. Throughout the ages Yogis and Yoginis, shamans, and countless wise men and women have known this. But losers take the material for all there is. Losers are gross materialists, while winners are spiritual people. Winners go with the flow, because they don't make material reality too real. They playfully overcome all obstacles because they have true spirituality and are in touch with the Divine.
When we are in touch with the Oneness, and beyond the illusion of material reality, when we know our own divinity, and know ourselves as the creators our own reality, then all things become possible. Therefore to be a winner, we have to go beyond the illusion. We have to get rid of those beliefs and patterns that keep us in separation and away from the Oneness. Like the light of a lamp that is hidden under many layers of veiling cloth, which only gets revealed as layer by layer is being removed, so your true self with all its creative powers will gradually get revealed as you are removing the layers of ignorance and false beliefs that keep you separated from the Oneness and in bondage to ignorance and suffering. A winner is somebody who consciously or unconsciously has tuned into the Oneness, who has understood at least some of the principles of creating his/her reality and regularly applies those concepts to his/her life.
How to Become a Winner
If
you start acting like a winner, you will become one. (Please keep in
mind the reverse is also true: if you keep acting like a loser you will
become a loser!). To "act as if" is a form of magick,
sympathetic magick to be exact. You can become anything you want to be
by "acting as if". For example, if you lack courage, start to act like a
brave woman or man ("act" I said, not talk! Bragging is going to get
you nowhere!). In the beginning it will be just an act, but if you keep
it up long enough it will become part of you. That is one approach to
becoming a winner. But the most important approach is to completely and
permanently root out the loser identity. The winner and the loser
identity are opposing pairs. You cannot be both.
Therefore, logically, before you can be a winner you will have to get rid of the loser identity and all the behaviour patterns that go with it. In the table below I have outlined some of the characteristics of a winner and a loser. Use this to assess yourself and step out of the loser identity and transform yourself into a winner. All the characteristics on the loser side are actions and patterns that move you further away from the Oneness and more into delusion. All the traits on the winner side will take you closer to the Oneness, and make your journey easier and faster.
Expect to put some effort in, but it will be well worth it when you begin to manifest results and create the life you always wanted!
Therefore, logically, before you can be a winner you will have to get rid of the loser identity and all the behaviour patterns that go with it. In the table below I have outlined some of the characteristics of a winner and a loser. Use this to assess yourself and step out of the loser identity and transform yourself into a winner. All the characteristics on the loser side are actions and patterns that move you further away from the Oneness and more into delusion. All the traits on the winner side will take you closer to the Oneness, and make your journey easier and faster.
Expect to put some effort in, but it will be well worth it when you begin to manifest results and create the life you always wanted!
Assess Yourself: Are You a Winner?
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Characteristics of a Winner
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Characteristics of a Loser
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Copyright © Avalon Sakti Tiamat, 11.01.2009
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